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Foundry United Rev. DeeAnne Lowman, Associate Pastor |
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“Living Authentically
With Our Giants” August 16, 2009 |
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1 Samuel 17:31-40
Rev. |
We are
in the middle of a series of sermons in the month of August on the story of
David and Goliath. In our series so
far, we have learned that the story of David
and Goliath was not originally about David. It was told about another
Israelite named Elhanan. It was originally the story of Elhanan and Goliath.
But the Israelites so loved the story and they so loved David that as the
legend of David grew the story was adapted and rewritten and expanded and
became part of the legend of David. [i]
We've learned about the importance that Scripture and tradition have given to
older siblings – David not being one, among others. We've talked about how important it is to
know our appropriate place and role, and that we are sometimes called out of
that role and place in order to change things for the better. Today we will
be talking about authenticity, especially when we are living among the giants
of our living – catastrophic, enormous events, actions, and circumstances,
and yes, even people. We know from Scripture that David is a younger
brother. As Dean talked about last
week, these brothers attempted - perhaps out of jealousy - to repress David's
true nature and calling. From later
writings in Ecclesiasticus, we know that David's nature was already
known. In one passage, the writer
tells us that “[David] played with lions as though they were young
goats, and with bears as though they were lambs of the flock.” In the
text for today Samuel told David that he was too young and inexperienced to
take on the likes of Goliath. David
defended his decision to take on Goliath because of his experience in tending
sheep, even saving them from lions or bears by killing them with his bare
hands. David was also someone who has a deep relationship with God – a God he
is certain will help him win the day for his people. So Saul lets him go and
fight, but Saul “put [Saul's big old] bronze helmet on his head and belted
[Saul's] sword on over the armor.” The text tells us that David tried to walk
but he could hardly budge. David told Saul, “I can't even move with all this
stuff on me. I'm not used to this.” And he took it all off. [ii]
David knew that what had worked for Saul, who was chosen to be king because
(remember) he was tall and good looking, would not work for him – a young and
perhaps not-tall-at-all shepherd. He
had to do this his way. He had to
figure out what he needed to do, and not use someone else's strategy or
plan. He needed to lead his
way. For over a year now, I've been enrolled in a Clergy
Spiritual Leadership Development course at the Shalem Institute in I've tried all manner of ways to go deeper into my self
with God as companion. One of my
cohorts prays for two hours every morning.
Every morning! Another spends tons of time in silence. In silence!
Well, have ya met me? These practices
just haven't work for me. I do pray
and I do keep intentional silence on occasion, but they seem to be times more
for me to reflect rather than really looking for how I could be authentic and
real in my pursuit of God. I used to
practice Scripture study every morning BC – before child. That doesn't seem to
be something I can stick to anymore. So what would help me to live
authentically as God's daughter? What
do I need to embrace and/or let go of so that I can always be truly me? To learn more about ourselves and how we live and function
in the world, we have lots of options.
I would suggest that perhaps David didn’t have access to these
methods, so his work may have been more difficult. Let me say on the outset that I am very
much in favor of these tools that help us know more about ourselves. Personality assessments like Myers-Briggs,
Thomas & Kilmann’s conflict style assessments, spiritual gifts
assessments, career assessments, and tests that validate our IQ and our
scholastic abilities – all these can and do help us know more about how we
“live and move and have our being.”
But working with these assessments and tests begins as an external
exercise. During my July residency
this summer, Tilden Edwards talked about various ways we encounter and
attempt to understand and meet God, a sensation or place he called the spiritual heart. This is the
awareness of openness, oneness, allness, namaste. This is where we can live a
life centered on listening and acting for God. This is not the perfect place,
but a place where the perfect and imperfect can dwell together. “The God in
me meets the God in you.” This is the
work of truly knowing and
accepting who we are with God in Jesus. This is what can happen in the mysteriously
internal spiritual heart. We need
first to encounter a sense of our spiritual heart and, second, to observe
what works for us that helps to sustain that center, that spiritual
heart. We can work to discover our
sense of our spiritual heart in committed times of silence (ugh, but I'm
getting better at it), serendipitous opportunities for prayer, or even times
of action. But all of this must been done out of a sense of who WE are, not
who we THINK God wants us to be.
Remember, the place of the spiritual heart is where the perfect and
the imperfect dwell together. I've rediscovered my practice of yoga. During my time
at my last residency for Shalem, one of the other members of the course
offered to lead a yoga practice a few times during the week. I got so enthusiastic about regaining my
practice that I've dusted off my mat, bought a book about yoga and a video to
lead me in my practice, and I even have a daily devotional centering guide to
use before or after my practice each day. And I can honestly say that
my practice persistently has moments and movements of imperfection that I am
working on “leaving in” for God to see.
What I've discovered is that, for me, connecting
my body and my mind and my spiritual center all at the same time is the only
way right now that I can be fully attentive. In many yoga practices, teachers often refer to this going
deeper into our spiritual center as the practice of being present. In the
tradition of Kripalu yoga (Kripalu is Sanskrit for being compassionate) the practice of being present is not focused
on any specific faith tradition, so this presence could be a deeper sense of
self, a spiritual awareness, or – in my case – a deeper connection and
presence to God. In educational
circles, they call people like me kinesthetic learner, (we learn through our
bodies) and it is a practice that helps me know who I am, inside and
out. And sometimes I feel like I am
indeed inside out. My hope in pursuing this practice is that it will result
in a sustainable ability to face some if not most of my giants. I appreciate that I am being invited to be
compassionate during my practice – mostly to myself, and then out into the
world – what can be possible from a meeting of me and God on my mat in this
mysterious place of my spiritual heart. To live authentically among giants – or giant things that
happen – takes its toll. It can and
does change us. Being authentic
doesn't necessarily mean staying stagnant with who we are. When the call comes that there is a spot on
the x-ray, or a job is eliminated and you were already living on the edge, or
when the waiting for a child becomes unbearable, or you fear your child is
using drugs or alcohol, or parents and friends turn away because of beliefs
you hold fast to – it can and does change us. Sometimes forever. Giant events can cause us to become afraid
or bitter, or they can create in us a need and desire to go deeper and
discover that we are much more capable then we or others even imagined. We can continue to be who we are and still
be changed through our encounters with giants. During our encounter there will be the time
to be sad, disappointed, frustrated, even angry. Those are feelings and we don't simply do
away with feelings when we are closer to God.
In fact, I think that being authentic includes the total
acknowledgement of all that we sense when we meet these tough, even
impossible times in our lives. I want to say that I don't think this story of David
defeating Goliath is supposed to be just about defeating giants for us. Some Goliaths in our lives we just can't
defeat. We won't win all the time, no
matter how much we practice our slingshot skills. We can be authentic and genuine in the
midst of giants we will never kill
if we continue to stay in touch with and know who we are at the deepest core
of our being. To be real among life's
giants is not easy; we all know that.
Being authentic doesn't mean we will immediately know that we should
run to the battlefield and defeat them, or that we even CAN. To be authentic we first must know who we
are with God in the mystery of this spiritual center or spiritual heart. If we don't know ourselves well enough, we
rely on the perceptions and expectations of others to determine who we are
and what we should be and do. Instead,
why don't we listen deeply to the one who made us and knows us inside and
out, the one we know will companion us when we meet the giants. If we take on
other people's lives, perceptions and practices and in the midst of troubled
times, no one else may know, but we will.
And so will God. We are all
beautifully and wonderfully made to be solely and wholly ourselves. We honor God when we honor who we are and
who we are becoming. www.foundryumc.org |
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